Deregulating Your Life

Most of us live our lives based on the rules and expectations set for us by others. Who are these others? Our jobs, bosses, family members, friends, society, religion, government and on and on it goes. We let others dictate who we are and how we live our lives. Regulation give us a sense of structure, we know what to expect so it eases our fears, it limits the amount of chaos or things that could go wrong. We have everything under control.

Or Not

The problem with this living arrangement is that regulations also limit our freedom, our creativity, our ability to think outside of the box, to experiment and try new ways of thinking and living, it limits our ability to live in harmony with the cyclical nature of our bodies and the natural world around us.

What would happen if we chose to deregulate our lives? To make decisions based on our intuitive abilities, based on what we are feeling and sensing in our bodies, based on spiritual discernment from the energy of the atmosphere and people around us. To eat when our bodies tell us we are hungry as opposed to a clock. To sleep when our bodies tell us they need sleep as opposed to a clock. To tune back into the natural rhythms of nature. To tune into the spiritual energies around us. To live in perfect harmony and alignment with human beings, nature, animals and the cosmos. To make decisions from the inside of us rather than letting others out there make the decisions for us.

This may sound like a utopian dream, but I believe it can become a reality and it is the way I am learning to live my life now. It is a slow process; our lives are entangled with everyone else’s, so it takes time to deregulate out of everyone’s expectations for you. If you work at a job, or live in a family, it can be challenging to make this happen. But don’t let that discourage you, find one area of your life you can begin this process in and see how it feels to live with more freedom, being more in tune with who you were created to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Is Life Impacting You or Are You Impacting Life?

This is an interesting question to contemplate. Most of us look at life from the perspective that we have very little control over what happens around us and to us. We are victims of our circumstances. Many times, it feels like things are out of our control, there is little we can do to change anything, so we just accept it and learn how to live with it. We blame others for what is happening and project out our anger and frustration at them. Or we live in fear of things we don’t believe we have any control over. We spend enormous amounts of energy trying to figure it all out, how things work, why things happened the way they did, how can we end up with a different result next time. What can we put in place to prevent us from having a similar negative experience again.

But what if we changed our perspective and believed we are the ones who decide what life looks and feels like? We choose to take back control of our lives and create the life we really want to experience. Life is now responding to us and we are impacting the world around us. We all have planted within us, great creative abilities and potential. We can focus on the chaos around us and complain or we can envision a future without it and create a better life for ourselves and the world around us. The choice is always up to each one of us; do we want to react to the world around us with fear, anger, frustration and complaining or do we want to respond to the world around us with excitement, creativity, love and new ideas?

Reclaim your personal power. It is your choice, choose wisely

 

 

 

Feelings: Mine or Yours?

When we feel certain emotions, we automatically believe they belong to us. But sometimes, they don’t. Emotions are energetic vibrations, which is why when you enter a room with other people, you can sometimes feel other people’s emotions. You can be in a great mood and spend some time with someone who is depressed, frustrated or anxious and come away wondering what happened to that great mood you had earlier in the day. The opposite is also true. You could be feeling sad and then spend time with some happy people and walk away feeling much better.  Sometimes it can be difficult for people to sort through which emotions are really theirs. Here are some tips to help you navigate through this.

  1. If you know you are going to be around people, before you enter the room where they are, do a self-check and notice what you are feeling. Then be aware if you sense any changes in this feeling and if so, notice the people you are around and how they are feeling.
  2. When you awaken in the morning, focus on positive, loving feelings so you can be vibrating at higher frequencies during the day and then it will be more difficult for you to pick up the feelings of negativity from others.
  3. Before you go out, do a quick visualization. Visualize yourself encased in a strong energetic bubble where any negativity from others will just bounce off you instead of being absorbed by you.
  4. It these steps don’t help, and you continue to feel overwhelmed by emotions, you may want to seek counseling to help you learn how to process through where they are coming from, what they mean, and how to manage or release them.

 

Intense Feelings: What to do with Them???

From time to time, we all feel these intense feelings welling up within us. Sometimes they are feelings of excitement and joy and other times they are feelings of great fear or inadequacy. These feelings are messages for us, so it is important to acknowledge and listen to them. They can take you in whatever direction you choose.

  1. You can choose to ignore them, medicate them, push them back down and pretend you never felt them. This is called reacting to them, you don’t like the way they make you feel. But feelings are energy, so they never go away and will continue to resurface when re-triggered by things in the present.
  2. You can choose to acknowledge and feel them. It may be a message from the past. What is within you that wants to be healed? Allow yourself to revisit what happened to you and be healed, either on your own or with the help of a friend or professional counselor.
  3. You can choose to acknowledge and feel them. It may be a message form the present. Can you allow yourself to just feel and express whatever the feeling is? Perhaps write a song about it, dance to it, draw a picture of it, sit with it for a while?
  4. You can choose to acknowledge and feel them. It may be a message about the future. What is within you that wants to be expressed in your life? Allow yourself to dream and believe in your creative abilities to make your life and the world around you a better place.

Choose to become friends with your feelings, they are an integral part of who you are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Freedom From Fear

This blog is being written for you, those of you who follow and read my blogs on Word Press. Most of you I have never met or talked with, but I appreciate your interest in what I write about. I wanted to invite you to a series of online classes I am doing on Zoom called Freedom from Fear. Fear is that one emotion we all get to experience on this life journey, some more than others. However, I have found that there are ways we can release these fears, so we can live with more peace and love in our lives and relationships. If you are interested in attending any of these classes, click on the link to register and I will send you an invoice for payment via email.  If you register and pay but can’t attend, I will still send you the video recording and handout. Class fee is $20 for each class.

April 13: Fear of God is about how so many of us were raised to both fear and love God, which is a conflicting message. You cannot love someone you fear. And if you cannot love someone, you cannot trust them, therefore you live with fear. In this class you will learn:

  • Who God is
  • Where this fear came from
  • How this fear manifests in our lives
  • The fear, love, trust cycle
  • How to release this fear

Registration URL:  https://zoom.us/meeting/register/476819004a734be47510d14dfea9e911

April 27: Fear of Self is about how so many of us were raised to fear ourselves and are not even aware of this. We were taught that we are sinners, that there is something wrong with us. We are afraid to access the power within us and allow our true selves to shine. In this class you will learn:

  • Where this fear came from
  • How this fear manifests in our lives
  • Learning who you really are
  • The difference between self-love and selfishness
  • How to release this fear
  • How to be YOU in all your magnificence

Registration URL:  https://zoom.us/meeting/register/7485dcc507d7ef25c5b9141539e44ee6

May 11:   Fear of Other People is about how so many of us were raised to fear other people. We were taught that we need to compete with others or become who they want us to be to be loved and accepted by them. In this class you will learn:

  • Where this fear came from
  • How this fear manifests in our lives
  • The difference between self-esteem and self-image
  • How to break free of people pleasing, enabling and co-dependency
  • How to love other people without losing yourself
  • How to release this fear

Registration URL:  https://zoom.us/meeting/register/2032bb3a9837d91866858a512be5123a

Resurrection Love

Today is Easter Sunday, also known as Resurrection Day. It is the day the ladies went to the tomb and Jesus was no longer there. We all know the story.

It is important because His resurrection proved that while you can kill and bury a physical body, you can never kill the spirit that resides within it. We are eternal spiritual beings, death does not exist, it is just a transformation our spirit goes through to transition from the physical realm to the spiritual realm.

It is important because His resurrection proved you cannot kill the message of love by killing the messenger, the message of love is eternal and will always rise and reappear in a stronger form than it was when you tried to kill it.

It is important because His resurrection reminds us that in the fear-based world in which we live, we can choose to crucify our fears and rise above them and live from a place of LOVE.

 

Good Friday Revisited

Good Friday is the day Jesus was crucified on the cross. I was taught that this was necessary, that Jesus became the sacrifice for our sin so that we could have forgiveness and go to heaven instead of hell when we die. This was the reason for his death.

However, in recent years I discovered that nowhere in the four gospels does Jesus tell us this is the reason for his death. He talks about knowing he will die, that it will be painful and that he will rise again, but never gives a reason for his death. However, there are many other references in the gospels that explain why he died which all point to the same reason. He died because he was preaching a message of love, telling people He and God were one, was attracting a lot of attention with his miracles, and the religious and political leaders of his day felt threatened by this and knew the only way to stop the influence of Jesus on the people was to kill him. For this reason, Jesus died. This I can live with.

It never made any sense to me that a God who was opposed to human sacrifice would turn around and sacrifice his son. This idea came later when people were trying to make sense of his death and looked to the sacrificial system of animals and the fear of an angry, punitive God which were their beliefs back in those days. The forgiveness part never made sense either since Jesus was already forgiving people when he was alive.

Next time you see a picture of Jesus hanging on a cross, may it remind you of the great love your Creator God has for you, that he sent Jesus to earth to become the embodiment of love, so that you may understand what love looks and feels like through his teachings and life example. But the ego, fear-based mankind felt threatened by this love, could not receive it so they did the only thing they could, they attempted to kill the messenger of love. The message of the resurrection is that Love Never Dies!

How did I end up with You?

I have been blogging on the challenging people you sometimes find yourself in relationships with: manipulative, victim, co-dependent and addict. Below are some reasons why you sometimes get together with these types of people:

  1. It feels familiar, when you were growing up, most likely one of your parents acted this way, so while you did not like it, you knew what to expect and the fear of having a relationship with a “healthy” person was scary, you don’t know how to navigate that. So, you put up with the behaviors and find ways to justify them.
  2. When you first met this person, they made you feel wonderful. They were the most kind, giving, caring person you had ever been around and they lavished you with attention. Then once you committed to the relationship, they turned into a different person, but it was too difficult to leave the relationship at that point, so you stayed with them.
  3. You may have low self-esteem, so you attract people who affirm this to you by their actions, proving your belief that you really are not worth loving or being treated well.
  4. This person has something you really want/need like financial security or social status, so you put up with the things you don’t like about them to get what you think you really want/need.
  5. You like to feel needed and confuse this with being loved.

When you find yourselves in any of these situations you have a choice to remain in the relationship or leave. I always suggest counseling first, as many of these relationships can be turned into healthy relationships if both people are willing to work through their issues. However, often times one person is unwilling to change and you either have to put healthy boundaries in place to keep yourself safe from the abuse, manipulation, enabling or control, or you have to choose to leave the relationship and receive some healing for yourself so you don’t attract the same type of person in your next relationship.

Living with an Addict

When people experience emotional pain, trauma, or abuse they look for ways to cope with the strong and often overwhelming thoughts and feelings associated with what happened to them.  Due to this intense pain, they look for a “quick” fix which addictions provide by temporarily relieving the symptoms. If you are in a relationship with an addict, you know how challenging this can be. The addict will always choose their addiction over you. While anything can become an addiction, a state of being enslaved to something, the ones most likely to ruin relationships are drugs, alcohol, pornography and gambling. Addicts train their brain to neurochemically “depend” on the substance or behavior to raise moods when feeling depressed, sad, or lonely or to lower moods when feeling anxious or stressed. Addicts feel lonely and abandoned and long for genuine love, nurture and touch rather than the false substitute they get through their addiction. However, it takes hard work, accountability and commitment to overcome an addiction which is why they are so hard to break. Following are some things you can do to help someone caught in the bondage of addiction:

  • Use a tough love approach.  Do not give them what they want, give them what they need. Let them know you will always be there for them if they need someone to talk with, socialize with, or pray with, but you will not be available to help them continue living in their addiction.
  • Talk with them about the consequences of their choices and actions and hold them accountable by following through with pre-determined consequences.
  • Give them information about community resources where they can get help.
  • Keep them busy in activities that involve helping others, so their focus is not on themselves.
  • Encourage them with real life stories of people who have overcome what they are addicted to.
  • Encourage them to get help.  Let them know that your love for them is not conditional on whether they get treatment, but it is because of your love for them that you want to see them healed.

It is difficult to watch someone ruin their life through addiction and it is easy to become the enabler and desire their healing more than they do. Relapse is so common in treatment, it can be very discouraging and easy to give up on the addict. Ultimately, they must choose healing for themselves and you will need to put up healthy boundaries or choose to leave the relationship.