The Responsible Life

Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your character
Your character become your destiny

I spent the past seven blogs breaking down this quote and today I want to finish this series by showing you how to put it all back together again. We all look at our lives and find things we wish were different and wish we could change, but it all seems so overwhelming.  We don’t know where to start so we sometimes do nothing, and justify who we have become and where we are in life.

Here is how the change process works. All you need to do is choose one area to work on first and then all the other areas will change and shift automatically to align with the change you made in that one area. It does not matter where you start. Let’s say I choose to start focusing on the words I speak over myself. As I being to speak positive, loving words, my thoughts will automatically begin to be more loving toward myself. I will begin to believe I am worth loving. I will start doing more loving things for myself. I will begin to create habits that are good for me. People will begin to see me as a person with loving character traits. And my destiny will begin to shift into a more positive direction. To make this happen I did not have to spend enormous amounts of time focusing on each of these seven areas, I just chose one area to focus on and all the other areas over time came into alignment. I could have chosen to begin with habits instead of words, and the same change would have happened.

Sometimes as you go through this change process you may feel stuck. This is because your beliefs, thoughts, words, actions, habits, character and destiny are already hardwired in your brain by the time you reach adulthood due to your past choices and life experiences. It helps to have someone you are accountable to, someone to encourage and help you through the change process. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional counseling. We are trained in how to re-program you mind so you can live the life you really want, rather than the one pre-programmed by your past.

You have far more control over your life than you realize.
Choose to get out of the blame and victim game and take responsibility for your life.
You can do it.




Destiny by Design

Your character become your destiny

Destiny is where you are headed in life, where you will eventually end up. It is your goals and dreams about your future. Following are three factors that will influence your destiny.

  1. Your destiny will be influenced by others
  2. Your destiny will be influenced by factors you are not consciously aware of
  3. Your destiny will be influenced by you

Perhaps you had a parent, friend or boss who was determined that they knew what was best for you and even if you felt otherwise, you complied to please them, but you were not happy, you knew there was something else you would rather be doing with your life.

Perhaps you find yourself at a place you never intended to be at, situations like homelessness, job loss, divorce, bad relationships, poor health or poverty. These usually happen when you fail to plan out your life and don’t consider how your daily choices affect your future.

We are taught to blame others for our lot in life, to play the victim role. However, you actually have far more control over your destiny than you may realize through the choices you make. Your destiny is the accumulation of all your life choices, even those that felt small and insignificant at the time you made them. So choose wisely.

If you do not like the direction your life is taking you, the good news is that you can redirect yourself at any time. Where would you like to be in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years from now? Do you want to change jobs, get an education, improve your relationships, travel, grow spiritually, start a new hobby? Who do you need to connect with to make this happen? What changes do you need to make in your beliefs, thoughts, words, actions, habits and character to create the future you want to live? You get to create your life destiny by the choices you make today.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11




On Independence day we celebrate the freedom given to us when we become the United States of America. So what does it really mean to be free? I define freedom as no longer being enslaved to something or controlled by someone. To be able to make your own choices in life. While we like to talk about how free we are, most of us are enslaved or controlled by something and one of those things is a spirit of fear. People live with so much fear, they normalize it, unaware of how much fear is directing their life.  Perhaps you have experienced some of these:

  • Fear of what other people are going to think about you
  • Fear of not having enough money, food, clothing, friends, likes, etc.
  • Fear of displeasing someone and having them upset with you
  • Fear of asking for what you really want, asserting yourself
  • Fear of being different, being your own authentic self
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of self, your own personal power
  • Fear of God, that he will punish you, not give you want you want, be displeased with you
  • Fear of leaving the beliefs you were raised in that no longer serve you
  • Fear of failure, making a mistake, not doing everything perfectly
  • Fear of change, new ways of thinking, new beliefs, new technologies

These are the fears that keep us enslaved. Take some time to evaluate the fears in your life and decide if they are helping or hurting you. How free do you really feel? Then pick one to start with and see how much better you feel once you have released this fear. If you need some help, contact me, I love to set people free from fear.

Defined by Character

Your habits become your character
Your character become your destiny

What is character?

  • It is the expression of who you are, what you believe, think, speak and act out every day
  • It is what people know you by, the characteristics that define you
  • It is how you treat people
  • It is how you decide if you can trust someone, if you want to be their friend, if you want to hire them to work for you

People will either know you as a person of good character or of bad character. Good character traits are being kind, honest, trustworthy, a good listener, loving, patient, wise and dependable.  Bad character traits are being dishonest, mean, manipulative, abusive, a cheater, liar and untrustworthy.

A good exercise to do is to write down all the character traits that you would use to describe yourself, both the good and the bad. Then ask someone you know and trust to write down all the character traits that they would use to describe you. Then compare the lists. Sometimes we perceive ourselves one way and do not realize how others perceive us. We may not be aware of some of our good qualities and we may be in denial of some of our bad qualities. Then ask yourself, what can you do to keep these good character traits? What do you need to do to change some of the bad traits? We become like the people we spend time with. Look at the character traits of the people you socialize with and decide if these are the character traits you would like to embody.

While character is not something people talk about much these days, your reputation is based on your character, so your character development is an important aspect of who you are. Every day you get to decide what type of character you want to be known by. For your character will determine your destiny.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”1 Corinthians 15:33



Habitual Living

Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your character

A habit is the accumulation of all your past actions. When you repetitively do things, your mind gets wired to do them automatically. Think about riding a bike or driving a car. Once you learn how to do it, you no longer need to focus on every step in the process, you just automatically know what to do. Habits affect your health, relationships, work productivity, finances and every area of your life. Good habits develop when you choose to purposely do something over and over until it becomes routine. Things like:

  • brushing your teeth
  • spending time with God
  • eating healthy food
  • exercising
  • being responsible
  • going to work each day

Bad habits develop when you fail to plan or consider the results of your actions, how they will affect your future when you keep doing them. You also pick them up from the family you grew up in. Things like:

  • stealing
  • procrastinating
  • worrying
  • gossiping
  • over spending
  • addictions

Bad habits can be difficult to change which is why many people find ways to justify them. They are deeply ingrained in the neural pathways of your brain due to the beliefs, thoughts, words and actions you have spent your lifetime doing. Will power alone is not always enough to permanently change a bad habit, as you may need to find the cause of the habit and then change the subconscious programming. If you need assistance in eliminating bad habits, seek counseling, I am here to help you.

To create a new habit, set an intention for what you want. Ask yourself how you will feel when you have this new habit? Then visualize yourself already doing this habit. Set notes around your home/work to remind yourself to keep doing it until it becomes a routine habit.

Take time to evaluate your habits. What new habits do you want to develop? Which ones do you want to change? What do you need to do to develop healthier habits? How do your habits affect the people around you?

Every day you get to choose what habits you want to keep or change





Summer Solstice

Today is the summer solstice, when you will experience the greatest amount of daylight. There is much meaning that can be attached to this day. The physical sun provides the light and heat to enjoy life on planet earth. It helps the plants to grow that provide nourishment and beauty to our lives. No life, whether animal, plant or human, could exist without this light, it is a force that unifies us all. Give thanks for the sun today.

The sun also reminds us that as children of creator God, the spark of God’s presence shines within each one of us. This light empowers our lives and relationships with joy and love. This light illuminate’s areas of our lives that need to come forth for healing. It is the fire within us that empowers us to face our fears and overcome them. It is the fire within us that burns away beliefs and thoughts that no longer serve us.

Spend some time outside today enjoying the warm energies of the sun and spend some time letting your inner own light shine forth through acts of kindness and love to those you meet.

Moving into Action

Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits

Your actions are what gives life, motion and movement to your words. It is easy for people to lie with their words, but actions or behaviors reveal the truth about what a person believes and thinks. Every day you are making decisions with your actions so choose wisely. Most of the time you will have time to reflect upon how you want to act before you do something.

  • Do I want to eat healthy or unhealthy food today?
  • Do I want to spend all my money or save some?
  • Do I want to put my trash in the trash can or throw it on the ground?
  • Do I want to obey the law or break it?
  • Do I want to get up early or sleep in?
  • Do I want to watch this television show or another one?

So why is it important that you consider what actions you take? Your actions affect everyone around you. When you make good choices, everyone benefits and when you make bad choices, it can sometimes harm your self and those around you. Your actions create your future. The food you eat affects your health. The way you manage your money affects your financial lack or prosperity. How you treat people can create friends or enemies.

It is important that you take time to evaluate the results of your actions as they create your habits. Are you making good or bad decisions? Are your actions leading you closer to your goals or away from them? What changes do you need to make in your actions to improve your life and relationships? What kind of habits are your actions creating for you?

Every day you get to choose what action you want to take

The Power of Your Tongue

Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions

What you think about you will eventually speak about. Words are the tools you use to communicate what you are thinking. It is how you get the thoughts from your head into your everyday reality. Words are vibrational energy so what you speak out will eventually manifest and come back to you. Genesis teaches us that the world was spoken into existence by Creator God.

Some of you were raised in homes where negative hurtful words were spoken over you. As a child your brain was not developed enough to realize these were lies, someone else’s thoughts being projected onto you, so you believed they were truths about you. These words created beliefs and thoughts in you that continue to control your life as an adult. If you no longer want to be controlled by this, contact me, I can help you change this programing in your subconscious mind.

Ask yourself, what types of words you speak over yourself each day? That you are a failure, a loser, stupid, not lovable or worthy? Or do you get up each morning, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful, worthy and wonderful you are? Choose to speak words of life over yourself, to see yourself as God sees you, worthy of love, you are a human being that carries the presence of God within you.

Ask yourself, what types of words you speak over others each day? Your spouse, children, friends, co-workers, boss, stranger. Many times, we project our own junk, anger, frustration, and fears unto others because we do not want to take ownership of it. We use our words to bully and put others down to make ourselves look good. We use our words to divide rather than unify people. Each day you get to choose to bless or curse people with your words, so choose wisely.

 Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21a

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24



Thought Control

Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words

Whatever you believe is going to determine what you think about. A thought is a mental image or idea that directs your life. But thoughts can cause problems for you.

  • Does your mind feel like it never slows down, with your thoughts racing out of control?
  • Do you find yourself obsessing or worrying about one particular thought?
  • Are your thoughts sometimes dark and fearful, and you can’t find a way to shut them off?

The truth is, you can learn how to control your thoughts when you slow down enough to question them. Ask yourself: What am I thinking about? What thoughts occupy my mind the most? How are my thoughts impacting my choices, my life? Are they self-defeating thoughts? Are my thoughts truth or lies? What thoughts would I rather be thinking about? As long as you keep your thoughts inside your head, they will control you more than you control them. When you bring your thoughts out into the open, by sharing them with someone, writing them down or creatively expressing them, it becomes easier to change or control them.

  • See if you can figure out where they came from, usually from past childhood programming and belief systems.
  •  See if you can flip them into positive thoughts and then focus on thinking about these new thoughts.
  • Do not judge your thoughts as being bad or wrong, accept them as being a part of who you are
  • Learn some mindfulness or meditation practices as these help you learn how to choose which thoughts to attach to and how to let the others go by without focusing on them.
  • Seek counseling to help you process and heal your thought life.

 For as he thinks in his heart, so he is. Proverbs 23:7

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, noble, just, lovely of a good report, if there is anything of virtue or praiseworthy, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

Every day you get to choose what thoughts you want to think